Jayden, my 1st born, is a sweet, loving, creative sensitive 9 year old boy. He has a huge heart, and has so much compassion and kindness in him. We've had so many amazing moments with him, but it has been a hard 9 years. There have been moments where I was rocked to my core, not knowing how to go on, scared that my son was going to hurt himself, his younger siblings, or me, scared of what our life would be like over the years, as he got bigger and stronger.

Jayden had a rough birth, which lead to an intense and challenging infancy. He never crawled, hated being on his tummy, rarely climbed, rarely slept, and was delayed in several areas. He was highly sensitive to almost everything, especially clothing and touch, and often had several hour-long tantrums in a day.

As he got older, we began to notice an increase in symptoms -- his body was weak, he had poor posture, he was tired all the time, he wet his bed, tripped over things or ran into things, was not aware of the space around him, and did not like anyone, especially his siblings anywhere near him. He had little tics, like licking his lips, touching his face, and picking his scabs. He would flip out all the time and we could never predict what would lead to the next meltdown.

We became prisoners to his meltdowns, isolated, scared and alone. We tried changing his diet, took him to cranial sacral, worked wth a chiropractor and met with his school counselor. As he got older, around 2nd grade, the tantrums became more violent and he was always just so angry. We never knew when another explosion was going to happen In the Spring of 2nd grade, Jayden flat out refused to go to school, with meltdowns that lasted for hours. It seemed like our lives were spiraling out of control, we knew we couldn’t continue living like this.

It is so beyond painful to watch someone you love turn into an angry violent version of themselves. All the dreams you’ve had for them start to fade away. It affected all of us so much. And we felt so helpless. There were a lot of dark dark moments. Our family spent our days waiting for the next breakdown. Then, in May of 2016, we met our angel. Sonia came to speak at my son’s school and, thanks to my son’s amazing counselor who suggested I attend [Sonia’s Brain and Sensory Foundations] workshop, I found the key I’d been searching for for so long, and everything in our lives changed forever.

In the beginning of this work, I felt a extremely overwhelmed. How could we possibly add one more thing to our already busy life? I knew it was what I had been searching for, but this work,it’s a big commitment. These exercises need to be done daily, and, depending on how my son is feeling, it can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. We began by doing only the rhythmic movements for all three of our children. These movements really seemed to calm my son’s system and helped him with his sleeping, which had always been a struggle.

My younger kids loved them too, and asked for them every night. Jayden was still throwing angry violent tantrums but it seemed to take the edge off it somewhat. He became more coordinated and more comfortable in his body. And, once summer came along, and the pressure of school was gone, things started to slowly get better. Jayden spent a lot of his summer alone, drawing or building legos. He started to explore moving his body, riding his bike and jumping on the trampoline, and enjoyed the slower pace of summer.

We focused solely on the rhythmic movements And just let his system have some time to relax and breathe. Towards the end of the summer, we knew we had to start introducing the reflexes and started by adding them one at a time, beginning with the Moro reflex. The most challenging part of adding a new reflex is the beginning phase, the tumultuous period which lasts for us anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, where everything seems to get way WORSE. For my husband a I, this was the hardest part, as we would be making progress and then, all of a sudden there would be a massive decline. I would immediately go into panic mode, thinking oh no, this isn’t working, we’re doing this work every day and its getting worse, and then, right when i wanted to give up, it would thankfully start to get better.

We started to see the pattern and then those moments became much easier to handle, as we knew it was only temporary. As time went on, we started to see massive shifts and would get these glimpses of how our lives could be, no longer controlled by these erratic violent eruptions. In October of this year (2016), Sonia came back to my son’s school and, re-inspired by her work, we began a nightly routine that included all of the reflexes for both my son and for me. It has been a long, hard road. But every week gets better.

We are no longer walking on egg shells in our own home. We no longer have an angry violent son. He is back to being my sweet loving boy. He wakes up excited for school and gets himself ready in the morning. He has no more facial tics, and rarely throws tantrums. When he does get upset, the breakdown is more contained and no longer lasts for hours. He is learning to handle his emotions and is so much calmer. He is starting to see patterns. He has joy back in his life. He’s starting to dance and enjoy moving his body. He loves to read and write stories. He has lots of friends and is extremely social. He is excelling at school, and is enjoying his life. His posture has improved, and he’s no longer lethargic all day. When things don’t go his way he no longer breaks down. His artwork and creativity has exploded, and he seems more content and positive and happy to be alive. He has started doing martial arts and is becoming stronger and more at home in his body. He has an overall feeling of freedom and ease that I have never seen before.

Some days are amazing and some days are still challenging. But nothing like before. We have had some fallbacks due to a broken arm but have consistently been doing every reflex with him every day for more than 4 months. We know we still have a long road ahead of us, but it’s so clear to us that this is the work we need to be doing.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned from this journey is to never give up hope. When you have a child that becomes angry and violent, you start to feel a lot of shame, fear and guilt. I questioned, why was my son so broken? Was there something I did? Or something I didn’t do? As his explosions escalated, I feared for my son and for my family. I feared that this was our life and there was nothing we could do about it. I believed something must be broken and mourned the loss of the dreams I’ve had for my son and for my family.

But what I’ve learned is there was nothing wrong with my child, this behavior was not him. He was not trying to do this to get attention, not acting out because he was a bad kid. There was something off mechanically and his system was screaming out for help, something at his core was not lined up, but it is fixable. And, while this work has been a huge commitment to take on, it is so beyond worth it. We are so incredibly thankful to Sonia for the work she has done and to the amazing teachers at my son’s school who have been so supportive, accommodating and loving as we move through this. I hope my story can help others who are struggling and suffering to give you hope that there is a way out.

Thank you Sonia, we are forever grateful.

Lauren M.

Ashland, OR